so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
