you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Hippo gnu deer
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
