Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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