the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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