I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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