College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
