apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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