oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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