Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
