shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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