i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i've created a new STD.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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