wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Say something about gay babies.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize