I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
