Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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