i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
