do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
