are you so shy because you have an std?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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