i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
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If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
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I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize