dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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