I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
whose parrot is this?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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