I wanna bring you to show and tell
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked