who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I've blown a few things in my day
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
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I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
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You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.