How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
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I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
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fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(