Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
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she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
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we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear