Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in