Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
