She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
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I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
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You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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