he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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