Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
