i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
