I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
