thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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