that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
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All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
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No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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