My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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