I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
