in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my sisters under your porch take her home
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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