I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
