He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
