She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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