I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
