I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
