You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
