Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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