We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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