there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
