Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize