oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
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soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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