why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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