I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
