Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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