Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
please come you make the beer taste better
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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