tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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