Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
