My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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