something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
