I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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