I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
