garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize