Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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