we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm at about main and main street
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
