Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i think i have two assholes
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
