I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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