fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
