Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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